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How To Be A Pedestrian in the Bronx

October 21, 2011

1. Walk with the natives when crossing the street.

2. Take it one lane at a time.

3. Be confident to the point of being cocky. That will earn you respect from oncoming cars’ drivers trying to prove their machismo.

4. NEVER assume you have the right of way when crossing a driveway. Especially if that driveway leads into a 24-hour Dunkin Donuts and Baskin Robbins combo drive-thru. Once I saw a woman, holding her 3-year-old son’s hand, walk into a car moving into the driveway that expected her to stop first.

5. That being said, in all other instances, create the right of way for yourself.

6. If you get cut off by a car making a turn when you’re crossing the street, the driver may wave to you gleefully.

7. During a rainstorm, and for several days after, access to most sidewalk will be blocked by puddles roughly the size and depth of Lake Superior. Wear galoshes or walk in the road.

8. It’s faster to walk than take the bus during workday hours.

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